Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
