I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
