Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize