Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
