You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
