How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
