Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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