I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
