the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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