Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
only if we run a train.
done.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize