Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
