I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
