He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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