Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
this hospital has no fireball
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
