I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
