those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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