I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
