I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
