awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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