did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize