Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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