so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
