True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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