I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
In America we eat man semen.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
