I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
