heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
