you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
