I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
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Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I supernannyed him into submission
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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