I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
