Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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