I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
