Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize