Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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