And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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