Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
