They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
