That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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