That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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