the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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