I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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