she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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