I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
