Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
