Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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