Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
