were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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