everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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