are you still at the devil's house?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
