My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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