We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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