escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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