just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
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I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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