he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
