just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize