I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
