I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
